I imagine a conversation at a water cooler today going like this. . .

“I see the World Health Organization has declared swine flu a pandemic.”

“Wow, it must be getting pretty bad. If normal flu kills up to 500,000 people every year how many has the swine flu killed?”


“141,000. Doesn’t seem like that many, in comparison.”

“No, no. Just 141.”

“Oh.” A brief pause. “Looking forward to Saturday’s All Blacks game. . .”

March 30th, 2009chapter four

Chapter Four: Flying Penguins

Nicole rushed back from the pile of luggage, and frantically asked, “Why is all my hairspray gone?”

“Firstly,” answered Luke, “it’s kind of crazy that you’re worried about your hair when we’re wrecked on a desert island. And second, we used it to start the bonfire.”

“But why is all the hairspray gone?” asked Nicole in disbelief.

“There’ll be no living with her after this,” muttered Jane.

Everyone was lounging on the beach, enjoying the twilight.

And then suddenly, (and this is truly suddenly – not the kind of suddenly like wings falling off or a wedding cake spontaneously combusting, which are always possible – this was the kind of suddenly that no one can expect) Zaccai and Christopher appeared in the middle of the beach. As if they had come out of nowhere.

“I don’t think this is Philadelphia,” said Zac calmly.

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February 22nd, 2009chapter two

Read chapter one here.

Chapter Two : Mayday Mayday

The radio crackled into life.

Aaron quickly disconnected the terminal. “Sorry,” he mumbled, “that was too much voltage.”

The puff of smoke had an eerie effect in the cockpit.

The fuselage had been slowly sinking into the bog. Now the water was above the arm rests on the seats. They were hoping to make radio contact before they abandoned the plane.

Becky seemed to be allergic to the swamp water, but everyone else was doing okay considering the metal tube they were sitting in had just fallen out of the sky under the control of a couple of teens who couldn’t spell aluminium correctly.

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February 12th, 2009chapter one

Chapter One :   The Wings Fall Off

Dale slammed the door of the taxi, grabbed the handles of two enormous suitcases and lumbered off towards the terminal. He was running late. Really late.

He didn’t like to be late. But then it wasn’t exactly his fault.

The speaker bleared, “Last Call, Passengers on Qantas flight 574, Kirsty Thorne and Dale Thorne please board immediately.” Kirsty’s face flushed. She didn’t exactly like having her tardiness proclaimed to everyone.

They dashed aboard the plane as the door was closed behind them.

This was going to be fun.


Nine hours later, they were sitting on a very different plane.

It was very small, and was flying nosily over the ocean.

This was a long awaited holiday. Fifteen friends from around the globe spending a couple of weeks together on an island in the tropics. It had been planned for a long time. And now they were finally here… well, here on a chartered plane anyway.

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February 6th, 2009the empty shelf ploy

I was in Bunnings on the way home from church, looking for some shelf supports. (Bunnings is a major hardware chain.)

After wandering around the store for about 15 minutes, looking in all the obvious departments, and then in some rather silly ones, I still hadn’t found what I was looking for.

I decided it was time to ask a staff member. Suddenly they became very scarce. Usually they scurry around like vermin, bugging you with annoying questions as you try and do some business.

Stupid questions like, “Can I help you?”

To which I think, ‘Well unless you’re different to the last three people who “assisted” me… no.’

Which is said out loud as “I’m fine, thanks.”

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October 31st, 2008the news

And now for something completely different…

How My Friends Are Most Likely To Be Heard About In The News

I’ve kicked a few ideas around for the long awaited next list. But we earthlings were standing around in the staging area, taking turns saying mean things about Zac, when Matt said…

NASA Launch Rockets, “Don’t Touch My Planet” Says Zac

So here’s my list of how you’re most likely to hear about some people I know in the news…

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October 17th, 2008out of the mouth of babes

This morning Jesse had a list of pronouns that he had to write sentences for. This is what he wrote… (on his own!)

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So far I've written 36,221 words in 243 posts. 885 comments have been posted, with a total of 26,233 words.

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